My hair is WTF

So I decided to do my hair the day before and I'm so traumatized. I couldn't write yesterday. Lol yeah I laugh now while I'm writing but when I comb my hair or look in the mirror I just wanna cry. Now don't get me wrong I'm really not vain at all seriously but, this is just like the story of my life, because every time I try to do something good for myself it just get worse ugh. Anyway my hair is like blonde blonde. I decided to do blonde because my hair has alot of white hairs and its like a halo around the crown of my head.  I did that like a year ago and I have had mad fun with it. I'm not even gonna front but at the same time that means that I haven't relaxed my hair. Yes unfortunately I do have to because if not I got a fro and I'm sorry but that's just not my style. So I've been getting my hair ready for the relaxer by doing moisturizing treatments for like two weeks and to no avail because as I was washing my hair of the product all I saw was clumps of hair in my hands.

 

My hair in clumps filled this bounty sheet

                                                                                                               
So now I have like these short patches of hair everywhere on my head and every time I touch my hair its still falling out like crazy. I have been trying to do like leave in treatments but I really do think I'm going to have to cut my hair and I'm more pissed if anything else but whatever right?! Maybe this for my new beginning right?! I have started looking at some styles that I'm thinking of doing like a lil bit of theses two styles.

I really like this one alot but I don't think my hair is long enough meaning my short patches

like I love this one alot

I really like the bangs on this one so maybe I can do like long bangs short bangs with the back like the first pic maybe

but I like the bangs on this one

 

But I really think I'm just gonna have to do this one and like layer the front with like some long bangs

but my hair patches are short like styles so I think I may have to do this one

 

I really hope and wish people are reading this so I can get some feedback on this because I'm thinking of doing this cut this weekend.

Now on another note I just wanted to say that I am and have been taking my pill in the mornings again for my thyroid, and I am starting to feel better already. I'm going out for walks now like I'm really started to be more active again and it really does feel good. Monday and Tuesday I have some appointments on Monday, they will give me the results from my cat scan which I have a feeling is bad. I probably gonna have to do the biopsy and then Tues I gotta get my eyes dilated and tested. My eyes have been feeling weird lately so lets see. I really wanna get out of this rut again and just be ME again hopefully.....

I'm back again

OK here I am again. Yes I made it back for another day maybe because I am feeling good today. I have been feeling really bad lately, physically, mentally and most of all emotionally. I guess I should explain, I have no family my mom and father have both passed and my sister is a bitch, and its so sad. I feel like its slowly killing me, so hopefully doing this blog it will help me to see and finally really be able to say "Fuck it" and really mean it, you know what I mean, because my family have done nothing but betray me, use me and now look, where are they?, I mean I could just die and they would not even know about it, and the fight I had with my sister was so big. I'm done. I cant keep trying to make her love me. I did all that I could and now I just have to say fuck it, because I cant keep feeling bad for what?!, right so I have decided that today I am going to do my hair. I am going to try to make the outside match what I am trying to do on the inside. I am 40 and I feel like I'm like 70 sometimes, because I'm always so sick but shit if you you were diabetic and have hypothyroidism and hypertension and rheumatoid arthritis and is always depressed and stressed you would be sick too but I wanna try to change all that. I wanna try to eat healthier and try to start walking more and try to eat properly because I am sick of feeling sick all the time so here goes......

Hi Im attempting this again

OK so I'm attempting this blogging thing again and see if I actually stick to it this time because I really think I need to this time for my sanity, since lately maybe ever since I turned 40 and yes I said it the big 40 I have definitely see things much different and I'm really hoping this will benefit me for the better, like maybe just maybe if I start blogging maybe I can write my thoughts and feelings and if I do that i can really see everything for what they are. I have been stressed almost all my life with everything I have endured and now maybe with my age I just really don't care "You hear I don't Fucking care anymore" lol yeah that did feel good because all my life all I ever did was care for everyone else but me and you know what like I said maybe it was the age or maybe my health issues but I am going to start doing me Me me, so hopefully you wanna come along for the ride give me some feedback or just wanna read..

Let's Do This........