I hate the rain I really do. Every time it rains I just can't seem to function I can't get out of bed I don't wanna eat, I don't even wanna pee lol its so bad I know. So that mean I have been a bad girl I didn't take my pill yesterday and stood in bed all day and to be honest I'm so sick of it so today I got out of bed and I took my pill. I even tried to work on these bracelets that my man decided to spend money on for one of his get rich schemes. Lord I love him so much to put up with this and since he puts up with my shit I said OK and now this shit is stupid hard. They like gave no instructions for it making it virtually so hard for you to do it so you give up and lose your money but you know what I will do it. I will finish it and more importantly I will do it with my man spending quality time with him.
right now I'm like so flustered and shit because of some shit I found out today. I know I may not be making sense it just that I'm so mad its just flowing out of me so please forgive me today. Theres this lady who I call mom because she really took of care of me after my mommy died. I used to go out with her son when I was really young and to this day we still remain family except of course her daughter. Theres bad blood between us because of plain ole jealousy why I don't know because I have never tried to ever make her feel that way nor has her mother but that's just the way it is and has been for awhile. We have argued, fought but it was nothing until she spoke ill of my deased mother and of my sick sister and said I was a waste of breath and that I should do everyone a favor and kill myself and whats worse how nobody sees how horrible that is to say to anybody I mean really how fucked up is that. Now I'm always viewed as the stubborn bitch who doesn't want to make up but like do you really blame me. Would you ever talk to someone again who said those awful things. Anyway I'm just so angry because how could you be pregnant with a little girl and sit there and wish your mother dead so you can keep the apartment. What kind of human being are you. Are you even human. And the one I really feel bad for is that poor child to be born with a miserable mother who's own mother is scared of her, like come on. But then me I cant have a baby but bitches have babies left and right for all the wrong reasons like this bitch did too. She only got pregnant to keep her man. She kept her pregnancy a secret so her piece of shit man wouldn't make her have another abortion. So now she is having this baby and all they do is fight. That poor baby has like no chance with a mother like that. God forgive I don't mean anybody harm I really really do only wish that baby well. It just makes me mad I have no mom and I have no baby and it hurts to know that this bitch is so ungrateful. when zi hear all theses stories in the news of all these women killing their kids.
see this is why I hate the rain this is what the rain makes me do. just be angry and pissed which is why I like to stay in bed all bad things happen in the rain. I know I'm not mnakiung any sense. My writing is like in scrambles. I'm just so mad or maybe Just miss my mom..............
